Britney Spears for President

10Sep07

By: Keli Goff

If you’re like most Americans, I’m sure you’ve watched every single presidential debate so far this election cycle—you know all 500 of them. In addition to watching the one hosted on the campus of historically black college Howard University, and the one hosted on the network LOGO for gay & lesbian audiences, I’m sure you also watched the one last night on the Spanish language network Univision After all who didn’t? Except maybe for the millions of viewers who were busy watching the MTV Video Awards.

They didn’t just watch for MTV. And certainly not for videos (they barely play those now) but instead most watched for Britney Spears. Not to watch her sing. That was never really her true talent. Her talent has always been getting attention and she certainly had the attention of a whole lot of Americans last night—certainly more so than any of the presidential candidates.

Every presidential election there is a whole lot of head scratching and pontificating about how to get an often disengaged and disinterested public interested in the political process. There are a variety of reasons Americans give for not voting or not registering to vote, let alone actually following politics on a regular basis. Some simply believe that their vote won’t actually make any difference. (Although the 2000 Florida recount should have really laid that theory to rest). Some are under the misguided assumption that “it” (the political process) doesn’t really affect them. (Although considering that whether you’re a stripper, a waiter or an heiress, you have to deal with Uncle Sam and his enforcer known as the I.R.S., this assumption is incredibly naïve.) But others just believe that it’s too hard to figure out whom to vote for because most candidates come across as full of B.S. (for lack of a better term).

The only thing worse than someone who is full of B.S. is a know-it-all. And to many Americans, candidates and politicians in general come across as wonky, condescending, out of touch know-it-alls…Who also happen to be full of B.S.

No one ever really argued that Vice-president Al Gore or Sen. John Kerry were “inexperienced” or unqualified to be president. The criticisms were much more nuanced than that: Kerry was a “flip-flopper,” Gore blew the presidential debates with his patronizing sighs and eye-rolls. (In other words, Mr. B.S. meet Mr. Know-it-all.)

No one likes people who don’t shoot straight with them and no one likes the smartest kid in the class. So maybe more Americans would rather follow Britney Spears’ campaign to commit career suicide, than the 2008 presidential campaign for a simple reason. Contrary to the scripted dialogue and robotic sound bites that have become par for the course on the campaign trail, Spears’ public meltdown—complete with shaved head and stripper-worthy MTV Video Awards performance—is clearly NOT scripted, or the work of slick handlers or strategists. It’s a train wreck. But at least it’s real and not full of B.S.

If Britney ran for president for once Americans could finally spend the campaign feeling like the know-it-all, or at least like “I-may-not-know-much-but-I-DEFINITELY-know-more-than-her.”

Who knows? Maybe then more of them would vote.

www.keligoff.com

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